The Hot Stuff

REVIEW: One Direction In Melbourne 2013

Last year

One Direction are the biggest band in the world. Don’t even tell me that they aren’t. And on Wednesday October 2 they rocked Melbourne’s Rod Laver Arena in what was possibly the best concert of my life. It’s been a long time since One Direction were in Melbourne. They have finally returned, with slightly different hairstyles, a lot more tattoos, and in the case of Liam Payne incredible new arm muscles.

5 Seconds Of Summer got things started, delivering a high energy performance that had the girls screaming. It is amazing how far these guys have come in a year. (I wrote the first ever news story about them, just sayin’). They are electric on stage, and the reaction from the fans was almost as crazy as it was for 1D. These guys are going places.

GALLERY: 5 Seconds Of Summer Perform At Rod Laver Arena

While we waited for the main attraction we got to watch a lot of One Direction related ads. This got a lot of screams. A confusing moment for those of us over the age of 20 occurred when the song I Like It Move It Move It was played, and a big group of girls started doing the Macarena. I was shocked, because you can only do the Macarena to the Macarena. Or to the Christmas Macarena. Later the actual Macarena came on and everyone danced. They redeemed themselves in my eyes.

FINALLY it was time for One Direction. They kicked things off with Up All Night, to the sound of deafening screams. The setlist included all the hits, plenty of tunes from Take Me Home and a cover of Teenage Dirtbag, which has become one of their anthems. Look every other review is going to give you a list of what they played. So let’s focus on the boys.

Liam Payne instantly became my new crush. I’ve always loved the boys equally, but a guy in my office has always insisted that Liam was the hottest. Tonight, I understood. Tonight Liam demonstrated to me that he is a man. His arms are massive. His hair is perfect. His face looks like a Greek God. He also has an amazing voice, incredible stage presence, and it just felt like he really wanted to be there and was loving every second of it. Look guys, I’m 26. I love my teen stars, but sometimes I want to obsess over someone who looks slightly closer to my age.

GALLERY: One Direction Perform At Rod Laver Arena

Harry Styles of course got a lot of screams. Everyone loves Harry. But he was so funny on stage, that how could you not scream for him? Probably the strangest/funniest moment for me was when the boys flew over to the second stage, and he picked up some cup noodles that had been placed on the corner of the stage. There was also a carrot in there. He waved the carrot around a bit, and he also grabbed the noodles and started eating them and then had to spit them out so he could sing one of his lines. Later they put a photo on Instagram of him with the noodles. I felt good about that.

Zayn Malik is probably the quietest of the bunch when it comes to chatting to the audience – not that he’s quiet, just that they others talk a lot. However, he without a doubt has the best singing voice of the bunch. His vocal skills are on another level. Zayn can sing. And he’s just so cool. His tattoos are cool. His style is cool. You always want to look at Zayn to see what he’s doing. But that voice. Unbelievable.

Louis Tomlinson was just loving every second of it. And I was loving every second of him. He confirmed that he had spent the last few days in Fiji, and he was looking pretty tanned – but when isn’t he tanned? He was funny, chatty, and has excellent stage presence. When he wasn’t singing he was always doing amusing dance moves with the other guys and generally just having a laugh.

And Niall. Or should I say Melbourne Niall. Because this guy is practically a local. We stalked him when he was on holiday here (sorry Niall). One of my friends was at Boutique the week after Niall left, and she talked to an Irish guy for like half an hour because she thought it might be one of Niall’s friends. It wasn’t. Niall could not stop talking about how much he loved Melbourne. And it felt real. He talked about how last time they played at Hisense, and now they were in one of the most famous arenas in the world. He talked about how he has three favourite cities – Tokyo, London and Melbourne. We’re pretty sure he’ll buy a house here soon. And marry a local.

After nearly two hours of singing and talking, it was time for the big finale. One Direction returned to the stage decked out in full Hawthorn Hawks gear to perform Best Song Ever. They seemed a little surprised because they actually got booed for wearing the uniform – but Melbourne Niall explained to the other four that there are a lot of teams in Melbourne. Niall then spent about five minutes talking about Melbourne, and twerking. The others pretty much just sat and watched and made jokes.

Finally, sadly, it was time to sing What Makes You Beautiful and say goodbye. But don’t worry. There are seven more shows in Melbourne, and they will be here on two more separate occasions during this tour. One Direction and Melbourne’s relationship is not over yet.

Review: Julia Foskey @j_fosk (One time I kissed Harry and Niall)

GALLERY: One Direction Perform At Rod Laver Arena

GALLERY: 5 Seconds Of Summer Perform At Rod Laver Arena



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